And I always thought I knew what grief looked like – I had seen them before. Held a loved one for the last time and shaken hands with the pit in my stomach. “It’s nice to meet you. . .again.”
Having lost people in the past I thought I would know what to expect. I thought I would know what to do – I don’t. I thought I would understand. I thought I could make sense of the situation, yet I can’t. I’ve dealt with this before – loss – but I still find myself struggling. And of course that is to be expected, it does not come easily, but when I allow myself to think about it, about her – really think – I get. . . stuck.
And when I say stuck, I want you to understand that writing those previous three words took me 47 minutes. I think, and I think, and I think, and I cannot seem to locate, understand, transcribe the feelings. And I push them away, cause that’s easier than thinking.
